It seems that many men feel pressure to take one of two directions in life: they either become passive (are symbolically castrated) or they utilize their power, their strength in a way that is dominant and controlling. Is there not a safe, in between for men? There is great difficulty in being able to hold these two extremes in tension; to be strong, not controlling, to be flexible, not a door mat. In the wide gap between the two, there is vulnerability and instability—two states of being that men have learned are not okay. Isn’t that what our society teaches? Men, don’t be vulnerable-be strong! Don’t cry, be a man. You better have life figured out. What’s the result? Polarization of the men in our society, ...

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In my previous article I discussed that men have difficulty finding a balanced place of being. A place that encompasses their strength and does not distinguish it. A place that allows for vulnerability with out exploitation. So, what does it look like for men to live in this place? I have recently been exposed to the phrase “gun shy” in regards to men speaking truthfully. I took this to mean that for men, being honest in their strength as men, has at times been squashed or condemned or lashed back upon. As a woman, we long our husbands to be strong for us—to provide stability, support and love. Yet, how many of us women can handle the truth in strength of our men? I can admit this has been a difficulty for myself. My he...

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"The most important marriage skill is listening to your partner in a way that they can't possibly doubt that you love them. --"  Diane Sollee

" When unconditional love is put into action, it truly is the 'cure' to creating peace in the home. It simply takes learning how to put it into action. Traditional parenting techniques are fraught with fear, disguised as love. Shifting your perspective to allow the light of love to overcome the darkness of fear is the only way.--" Heather Forbes

Brighton Family Counseling LLC

55 South 4th Avenue,

Brighton, CO 80601

Phone. 720-373-5731